


Shades and Shaves of You

by mismatched_ideas



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: (past) - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, And yet you need no knowledge of RENT to understand this, Angst, Contemplation, Guns, Human Experimentation, Kissing, M/M, Multiple Universes, YOI shitbang 2017, implied PTSD, unnecessary connections to the musical RENT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-21 15:14:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11946942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mismatched_ideas/pseuds/mismatched_ideas
Summary: If iterations lined up like a color spectrum, small shifts were like changing shade and big shifts were like hopping to an entirely different color.And yet, somehow, those shades and shaves never changed you.





	1. Today 4 U

He had control over two things in his life: when he cut his hair and how. There wasn’t much more he could claim control of.

Seung-gil Lee didn’t make a habit of going to the theater. That said, he liked this musical. He’s liked every iteration. He didn’t like the iterations where it didn’t exist. Even more than that, he didn’t like the iterations where _he_ didn’t exist. 

After Seung-gil saw him perform in RENT during his first iteration, he’d refused to check his name ever again. With each iteration, you gained the possibility for changes in name and as you passed through generations you ended up with an almost 100% likelihood of a person having a different name than the original person you saw or knew or had a weird trans-dimensional, trans-generational crush on. 

He’d given up trying to pretend his interest was strictly scientific generations ago. Seung-gil had never spoken to the other man but had searched for him in every iteration and every generation. He didn’t always succeed in his quest but he always looked.

Coming to this production of RENT had been a whim and he never expected to see the other man on stage, this time in the role of Angel. The first time he’d performed he was Benny, believe it or not. 

Seung-gil was enjoying this production and was more than a little annoyed when he felt his world tilt and shift. It was a common feeling, like his vision literally tilted and then shifted to the side, but he still felt a fogginess in his mind that he wouldn't shake for at least a half an hour. 

There were shouts around him which wouldn’t have been strange expect he was still in the same theater, with the same people sitting around him. He’d shifted from comfort to a war zone before but that was a really uncommon occurrence and was definitely not the case now. 

His mind slowly caught up to the fact that the music had stopped. He looked up and saw someone collapsed on the stage. He turned to the shocked looking woman next to him.

“What happened?”

She took that to mean he saw what happened, breaking into wild questioning instead of answering him. 

“What if he hurt his back? It was so strange, he didn’t miss the jump but then he fell.” Now she glanced at Seung-gil. “Are you alright? You look pale. Did you know him?”

“Umm… yah…” Seung-gil stood, glad to have an excuse to leave. He hated when he shifted around _him_ because there was a chance he’d be replaced with someone else. “Excuse me.”

Just as he got to the edge of the seats the world tilted again, shifting and sending him to the ground. 

He hated shifting consecutively like that. This time, he’d shifted into the same theater except it was empty. 

Often, shifts were like earthquakes, with aftershocks possible. Given the noticeability of the changes, he guessed that last shift was ‘the big one’ and now he just had to wait out the possible ‘aftershocks.’ 

But maybe earthquakes weren’t the best metaphor. Maybe a color wheel fit better.

If iterations lined up like a looping color spectrum, the smaller one earlier had been a shift in shade. This last one, though, had been more like a shift from one color to another. 

He waited on the ground for smaller shifts, small shades and shaves of change, to come. And they did, but none were big enough to change the main area of the theater. 

Once Seung-gil was sure the shifts had stopped he stood and dusted himself off, letting out a sigh. 

He dragged his eyes across the empty seats, sad he’d not even gotten through the first act, and stopped on a figure collapsed on the stage. The stage was dark except for a few emergency lights that just barely illuminated the pile of human on the stage.

“Hello?” Seung-gil called, “Do you work here?”

The figure sat up slowly, moving their limbs gingerly. They shook their head, Seung-gil didn’t think it was in response to his question, and rubbed their eyes.

“Are you okay?” When they still didn’t respond, Seung-gil sighed and headed towards the stage. “Hey, are you–”

Seung-gil’s voice caught in his throat, the face partially lit up by emergency lights looking at him hazily. 

He couldn’t find any words for this man because he’d always made a point to not talk to him.

“Phichit?”


	2. You Okay Honey?

The other young man, who was pulling off his wig while staring confusedly at Seung-gil, was definitely Phichit Chulanont. 

“Sorry, do I know you?” He sounded like he genuinely thought Seung-gil was someone he knew but maybe he was still disoriented. Also, Seung-gil was standing in an area of the theater not lit well by even emergency lights. 

“No…” He stepped slowly towards the stage, “I was in the crowd though, for your show.”

“Wow, another Slider.” Seung-gil blinked, unsure of what Phichit meant even though he suspected he understood. To think, all this time there hadn’t been any sort of reincarnation or fate involved, just the same old shifting. “I didn’t expect to meet a Slider out here.”

Finally, Seung-gil was up on the stage, and a look of recognition spread across Phichit’s face. Then recognition turned into excitement. 

“No way!”

“What?” Seung-gil looked around, trying to find what could possible have caused Phichit to get so excited. 

“You’re, you’re…” He paused for a moment, “Well, I never knew your name but I’ve seen you all the time. I never thought you would be another Slider!”

“You… saw me?” Seung-gil felt a little embarrassed that his stalking had been found out. If he had know it was truly one person, he might not have gone out of his way to try and find him so often. That did explain why it was so easy to find him, though, they were probably always pretty close together since they shifted at the same times. “Sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?”

“I– umm, never mind.” Seung-gil wasn’t about to admit he’d been following Phichit now that they were finally talking. 

Phichit giggled nervously, refusing to look at Seung-gil. “Well you know my name but I don’t know yours.”

Seung-gil hated how his cheeks were burning but there wasn’t much he could do about it.

“I’m Seung-gil Lee.”

Then it came again, a small tilt and shift that sent Seung-gil to the floor. Next to him, Phichit giggled.

“I really never expected that person I was so fond of to be like me.” Seung-gil blushed at the word fond as Phichit sat up, looking a little sad. “Well, I’m sure you have people to check in with. Maybe we can see each other again?”

“Check… in?” Seung-gil blinked up at Phichit from his place on the floor and Phichit blinked right back down at him.

“Yah, like after a big slide don’t you and your people meetup to make sure everyone’s safe and whatnot.” 

“My… people?” Seung-gil had no clue what Phichit was talking about. 

“Yah, like the ones who took you in _after_.”

“After?”

“Okay, I think you might be a little disoriented still.” Phichit reached out a hand and Seung-gil, after a moment of hesitation, grabbed onto it. “Let’s get some new clothes for me then maybe get a hotel room, assuming it’s still nighttime.”

Seung-gil was disoriented, they both had to be after such a big shift, but that wasn’t why he was confused. Was Phichit implying there were not just a few other Shifters but groups of them? 

But he was too tired to argue, they would have time to figure this out later, and so nodded and followed Phichit outside.

\---

For such a big shift, not much had changed about their surroundings. Some of the buildings looked a little more run down and their clothes cost a decent amount of money. They barely had enough for a hotel room and the look the receptionist gave them when they asked for one room was not exactly justified, given they were still getting one with two beds. The look still made Seung-gil feel strange, given his long standing crush on the other man. 

“Okay, so let’s get some rest and figure things out tomorrow.”

“Sure, sounds good.”

“Good night, Seung-gil.”

“Good night, Phichit.” 

Seung-gil was left with his thoughts and the darkness then, listening to Phichit breath next to him and wondering how he’d gotten to this point. Maybe it was only a matter of time before he shifted close enough to Phichit for them to realize they were both the same kind of oddity but it still seemed so impossible to him that they were laying in the same room, with plans to talk and maybe go somewhere together. At least, Seung-gil hoped Phichit would ask him to come along. 

It wasn’t like he had anywhere to go. 

He didn’t think he’d be able to fall asleep that night between his racing thoughts and the slow breathing of Phichit next to him but he must have been able to because how else would he have been rudely shocked awake at what he’d later find out was three in the morning?

The thing was, if he hated shifting in public then he _despised_ shifting while asleep.

And that had been one hell of a shift.


	3. What You Own

The only good thing Seung-gil could find to say about their current situation was that they’d thankfully been able to sneak out of the hotel without anyone seeing them. They didn’t know if the reality they’d shifted into was one where they’d already paid for the rooms or if they’d even come to rent the rooms.

Seung-gil couldn’t speak for Phichit and his ‘people’ but how shifting worked was a complete mystery to him. He never stuck around to find out if he existed in the new universe he shifted into. 

“What are we going to do now?” Seung-gil asked, realizing belatedly that there was no _we_ and he’d been stupid to suggest it. He was just going to get his hopes up and be disappointed. 

“Well, I just looked in that store and the prices for a loaf of bread are more than we have.” Phichit bit his lip, “That was a lot of big slides in a row, that really only happens when there’s a new slider. I really need to get back to home base.”

He dug into his pocket and pulled out a piece of technology that looked a little like a walkie-talkie but the face of it had something more akin to a radar on it.

“I think if we either hitch-hike or take a train west, we can get closer. It looks like we’re meeting pretty far from here.” 

“We?”

Phichit looked up, “Sorry… I shouldn’t have assumed you’d want to come.” Phichit giggled nervously, looking sad. “You probably have other people waiting for you.”

“No, that’s not–” Seung-gil coughed, lowering his voice when he realized he’d shouted. “I don’t have anyone.”

“You don’t have anyone?” Phichit looked concerned but Seung-gil just frowned and looked away.

“No, I don’t.” Seung-gil couldn’t even imagine what it was like to have ‘people.’ “I’m just surprised that you want me to come.”

“Of course I want you to come.” When Seung-gil looked up Phichit looked almost hurt. “Especially if you have nowhere to go.”

“Okay.” Seung-gil murmured, not sure what to say. “Thanks.”

“It’s really no big deal…” For a moment Phichit seemed upset but then he smiled, “I’m thinking we'll try to get on a train going west tomorrow night. We’ll probably have to sneak on, but who knows.” His eyes suddenly lit up, “Why don’t we head over now, though? I’m pretty smooth, I could probably get us on a train for free.”

Seung-gil thought Phichit sounded a little too confident about tricking people to really have it be his first time. Not that Seung-gil hadn’t lied his way out of plenty of situations in his life. But even so, he was surprised how sure Phichit seemed that he could sweet talk a bunch of people at the train yard.

Even if he was surprised, Seung-gil could sort of see how Phichit would be able to convince people of anything. He’d convinced Seung-gil to go along with this plan without any explanation of how it wouldn’t end poorly.

Of course, that could be because Seung-gil would have followed Phichit anywhere at this point. 

“Okay.” Seung-gil nodded, “Whatever you want to do.”

\---

Phichit _had_ been able to convince some of the gruff looking men at the train station that he and Seung-gil needed to be on the next train for very important train work. He’d been more eloquent than that but Seung-gil was glad to know they didn’t have to sneak onto this train.

While they waited – the train was leaving in an hour – Phichit found a map of the train lines.

“I think we should take this one to this junction.” They were in the more extreme north portions of what still seemed to be The United States of America. To Seung-gil’s eyes he thought the borders seemed a little strange but he’d seen so many maps over the years that he couldn’t quite say. “I don’t know for sure but I think we’ll be meeting people farther west and this goes mainly south.” 

“Sounds fine.” Seung-gil was still a little thrown off by how comfortable Phichit seemed with him. They were strangers and yet Phichit talked to him like they’d been friends for years.

“If you two want to get on now, you can.” One of the men from early called, “Three trains from the back is open and we won’t close both doors so you don’t have to sit in the dark.”

“Thanks John.” Phichit smiled and grabbed Seung-gil’s arm, dragging him towards the specified car. “I hope nobody is worried about me. It’ll probably take us a while to get to wherever Ciao-Ciao is.”

“Ciao-Ciao?” 

“Celestino.” Phichit said, hoisting himself into the train car before turning to pull Seung-gil after him with a strength that surprised the taller man. “He’s sort of our leader, I guess.”

The train started moving and Phichit yelped, falling from his crouched position onto the floor. 

“What the hell, they said an hour.” He sighed, sitting up. “Doesn’t matter. I don’t care if we leave early.”

Phichit continued on and Seung-gil tried to listen, he wanted to listen, but found himself nodding off. It wasn’t long before his consciousness was taken over by blank unconsciousness. 

\---

When he woke up, Seung-gil blinked confusedly at his surrounding for a few minutes before he remembered where he was. 

Once he remembered the strange event of the last few days, Seung-gil looked around for Phichit in the small train car. He found the man sitting with his back to the car, too close to the edge of the open door for Seung-gil’s comfort. He was watching the sun set in the direction they’d soon be headed, silently holding his legs tightly to his chest with his chin resting on his knees. Seung-gil couldn’t see Phichit’s face but based on how he was sitting, Seung-gil could imagine a wistful smile on Phichit’s face. Or maybe a thoughtful frown. 

As if he could sense Seung-gil was awake, more likely he’d heard Seung-gil sit up, Phichit started to speak while still staring out at the fast moving scenery. 

“Do you know how this works?”

“What?”

“Sliding. Do you know how it works?” 

“I don’t.”

Phichit sighed deeply. “I thought maybe a new person might know. I’ve been looking for an answer but I can’t find one.”

“I never really thought about it.” Seung-gil admitted. He thought a little about it but the questions never seemed to be helpful so he’d stopped trying to figure it out. “It doesn’t change anything.”

“Sure, but, like do you ever think what happens in other universes?” Seung-gil stayed silent partly because he thought Phichit had more to say and partly because he had nothing to say. “Do we disappear? Do we stop existing?”

“I really haven’t thought about it.” Seung-gil got the feeling that this was something Phichit had been thinking about for a long time. 

“What if we’re just copies of the last us? Like copies of copies of copies all the way back to our first universe.”

“What does it matter?” Seung-gil thought it was an interesting question but how could they ever find the answer to it? He was pretty sure it was impossible since they couldn’t go back to past universes. At least they didn’t know if they could. “You’re here in this universe now so why do the other ones matter?” 

Phichit was quiet for a long time but then he turned, smiling brightly in the disappearing evening light, the sunset almost finished behind him. 

“Sorry, it’s nothing. Why don’t we get some sleep.”

And the sun slipped below the horizon, leaving Seung-gil feeling like he’d said something wrong.


	4. Will I?

They spent the next day waiting for a train that was supposed to come that evening which Phichit had somehow gotten them permission to ride while Seung-gil was in the bathroom. 

“We’ll probably have to jump this train.” Phichit said, “Because it’s going straight through to the coast.”

“How do you know where we’re going?”

Phichit pulled out the thing he’d had earlier, showing it to Seung-gil. “A while back we made these so that we didn’t have to stay together all the time. If someone needs something they can turn theirs into a beacon and people can find them. Celestino does that whenever there’s big shifts so we can regroup and make sure everyone is okay.”

For a while they were quiet but the Phichit continued, “So what about your people?”

“I don’t have people.” 

“How?”

Seung-gil scrunched his eyebrows together, “How?”

“Yah, everyone has people.” Phichit looked honestly confused by Seung-gil lack of ‘people.’ “There’s those of us here with Celestino. There’s the ones who are with Yakov and Lilia we’ve had some contact with but they mostly stay in Europe. And there’s Minako’s group, which is who I was originally with. I’m sure there are other groups too.”

“Who’s Yakov and Lila?” Seung-gil couldn’t believe that not only was there another shifter, but groups of them. “And Minako?” 

“Other leaders of groups. Minako’s group is mainly active in Asia. Yakov and Lilia are in Europe. Celestino is a smaller area, just really North America. I’m sure there are others but we haven’t met them.”

“How do you know the others then?”

“Like I said, I’m originally from Minako’s group but Yuuri and I, he’s a good friend of mine, wanted to see something new so we came here. That how we met Celestino’s group, really by accident. Then one of Yakov’s people came over here looking for other people like them to make contact.”

“Where’s your friend now?” Seung-gil couldn’t understand why Phichit would be traveling around alone, and he had been for a long time as far as Seung-gil could tell, if he had a good friend. 

“Doing exciting things, I’m sure.” Phichit smiled softly, seeming genuinely happy for his friend. “He found something to hold onto and he’s off… holding onto that.”

“What did he find?” Because if Seung-gil was honest, he would welcome something to hold on to. Something to make life more than just survival.

“Viktor Nikiforov.” Phichit smiled, “The man from Yakov and Lilia’s group. The two of them fell for each other pretty hard and I couldn’t really ask Yuuri to stay with me when he had that.”

“What about going back to where you came from.”

“That group is small… dwindling. After Yuuri and I left, some of the others followed. When Guang Hong found us here he said that Otabek had already disappeared and it was only Minako and Minami.” Seung-gil’s head was spinning a little at all these names but he left Phichit continue. “And I don’t have many good memories back there so I’d rather stay here.”

“Bad memories?”

Phichit shrugged, “You know… from what happened.”

Seung-gil had no clue what Phichit was talking about and got the distinct feeling that he was missing a big piece of the puzzle here.

“Do you really not have anyone?” Phichit asked, seeming to still not believe Seung-gil had been alone for all these countless years. 

“I left home after my first shift.” Seung-gil didn’t like talking about himself but that was mostly because he wasn’t used to it. The last time he’d really had someone to talk to was before his first shift and he couldn’t even say how long ago that was.

“Home?”

“South Korea.”

Phichit seemed to be thinking about something, the look on his face that of someone who was putting together a puzzle that was missing a piece. 

“So you’ve always been alone?”

“Yep.” Seung-gil really didn’t like thinking about it but it was true.

“But then how’d you get out? Who sa–”

“Are you two the ones taking this train with us?” A burly woman appeared in front of them, cutting off Phichit. “Help us pack it up. It’s the least you can do.”

“Sounds good!” Phichit jumped up, looking at Seung-gil. “We do need to earn our trip.”

Seung-gil wanted to ask Phichit what he’d been about to ask but the look in Phichit’s eyes, one of remembered horrors, gave him pause.

Instead of asking anything, Seung-gil stood to follow Phichit and the woman to some waiting boxes, his mind still ringing with the question Phichit had asked.

How’d he get out of what? Where did Phichit think he was? Maybe in Phichit’s original universe South Korea had been hard to leave?

But Phichit was chatting to the woman now as she pointed out what needed to be loaded where so Seung-gil let it rest.

Phichit was too busy for him to ask and obviously Seung-gil reluctance had nothing to do with this strange fear coiled in his stomach. 

Nothing at all.

\---

The train car was dark, lit only by a small sliver of moonlight from a half full moon. It didn’t shine directly into the car and so for the most part, the place that made up their current existence was pitch black. Phichit laid close to Seung-gil but not too close, both of them aware that they were strangers but also aware that loneliness pressed harder at night. Even with Phichit close, though, Seung-gil felt alone.

“Seung-gil?”

Seung-gil started at the voice. He’d thought Phichit was asleep.

“Yah?”

“Were you really all alone since you started sliding?” 

“Last time I had someone was my mom and my sister.” He’d already told Phichit this but the other man seemed to be pushing towards a different point altogether so Seung-gil let him retread the old ground. “Before my first shift.”

“Were you lonely?” 

Seung-gil shrugged, forgetting about the darkness and the fact that Phichit probably wasn’t even looking in his directions to begin with. 

But Phichit didn’t seem to care about Seung-gil’s lack of answer, continuing on with his questions. 

“Do you ever wonder whether you still exist in those other universes?”

“What?” 

“Like, is our consciousness just switching universes or our entire bodies? Do we still exist in other universes or are we just gone. Are there people who have lost so much time simply because we jumped into their bodies?”

Seung-gil recognized this as the same line of questioning as the evening before and wondered if Phichit had ever talked to someone else about this. He seemed so desperate for answers that nobody could really have. 

Seung-gil thought maybe he didn’t care about the answers so much as he was trying to explain how hopeless he felt. 

“You make us sound like aliens.” 

“But aren’t we?” Seung-gil blinked at the forcefulness of Phichit’s words. “Aren’t we aliens in these universes?”

“I guess it depends on your definition of alien.” He sighed, if Phichit wasn’t going to say what he really wanted to say then Seung-gil wanted to sleep. He was tired and didn’t have the energy to play philosophical games right now. “Phichit, you should get some sleep.”

“Does anything we do matter?” Seung-gil was starting to regret his wish that Phichit would say what he was really thinking. He was starting to suspect that he wouldn’t like where this went. “What if the moment we slide, we stop existing? What if whole universes replay themselves without us?” As he spoke his voice got louder and more forced, more like he was trying not to break down. “What if our existence had no consequence?” 

“Good night Phichit.” Seung-gil managed, not sure he was ready to hear the words that he suspected Phichit had been holding in for decades. 

Before he’d wanted Phichit to tell him because it felt intimate and that was what Seung-gil craved with his whole being. Someone close to him who felt they could tell him anything. But now… now he was realizing what that really meant and he was realizing he might not be cut out for the heavy stuff. He didn’t have the answers for Phichit’s questions because he’d thought the same things and forced them away. He’d forced himself into numbness because then in his silent world he wouldn’t question his reason for existence. 

“I just…” Phichit’s voice was so quiet that Seung-gil scooted closer to hear him better. “I just want to mean something.” 

“You mean something to me.” Seung-gil regretted the admittance immediately, cursing late nights and his tired mind for making him feel so comfortable with Phichit. 

When he drank he did things he regretted. When he was tired he did _and_ said things he regretted. He said things out loud to strangers and near-strangers that he hadn’t even admitted to himself. Like the fact that Phichit meant so much to him and that maybe, just maybe, finding him in every iteration had been Seung-gil’s only drive to continue living. Maybe Seung-gil had found his reason to hold on and it had been Phichit the whole time. 

“Isn’t that the purpose of creating a community like Celestino and Minako and Yakov and Lilia did?” If this wasn’t so upsetting a conversation, Seung-gil might be proud of himself for remembering those names. “Don’t you create communities so you have people who give your life meaning?”

“It’s not the same… It’s not what I mean.”

“Then what do you mean?”

“I wish–!” Phichit took a breath, lowering his voice. “I just want something tangible. Something physical to show what I mean.” 

Seung-gil could barely make out Phichit’s face in the dark car, just a barely noticeable flicker of eyelashes catching a stray ray of moonlight showing he was even awake. But, it was enough for Seung-gil to move over and press a kiss into Phichit’s warm, smooth lips. 

Later, he’d try to explain away the action with comments about being tired and not knowing how to cheer Phichit up. How to explain that he had something tangible right next to him and that he had something tangible in whatever town his people were in right now. He’d make a lot of excuses and he would definitely not mention the crush he’d had on Phichit for years. He wouldn’t mention said crush because that obviously had nothing to do with his terrible choices and stupid actions that night. 

When he pulled away his mind was only able to think about how self-conscious he was about the fact that he’d never kissed anyone before. Then he started to worry that he’d made a terrible choice. In the dark he couldn’t see Phichit’s beet red face and only had Phichit’s silence to go off of. He couldn’t see the look of shock as Phichit found himself completely stumped, and caught off guard, by Seung-gil’s actions. 

“I know we don’t know each other, like, at all, but I’m here now and you mean something to me. Is that tangible enough for you?” 

Phichit still had no response so Seung-gil flopped down as far from Phichit as he could get without the distance being obvious, even though they both could feel the absence of the other. Seung-gil felt the heat in his face as he cursed himself, hoping he could get some sleep but knowing he probably wouldn’t be able to. Sleeping meant daytime would arrive too quickly and sunlight always shattered the illusion of closeness and safety that warm nights brought. Seung-gil was afraid to know what happened without that curtain of comfort. 

For his part, Phichit wanted to respond but found himself unable to find the words to explain how he was feeling. He didn’t know how to say that that was what he’d dreamed of for years but how that wasn’t what he meant. He didn’t know how to tell Seung-gil he liked the kiss but also explain he still felt cold and afraid. He didn’t know how to tell him that he still felt alone in the face of the infinity that was their lives.


	5. One Song Glory

Seung-gil sat up when he saw Phichit starting to walk over to him.

“Oh, you’re awake.” 

“I wake up early.” He lied. Truthfully, he’d not slept the night before and instead kept going over and over what he’d done. 

What kind of idiot just kissed someone out of nowhere?

Probably the kind of idiot who’d been very tired and hadn’t spent this much time with one person in forever. But still, the last time he did something that stupid was when he was convinced by some guys to go out together and he got really drunk. 

“We need to get off, like, now.” Phichit turned towards the open train car before walking over to one of the hand holds. He grabbed onto it and leaned himself out of the car, making Seung-gil feel a little faint. “There’s a curve coming up so the train is going to slow down. We’ll jump then.”

“Jump?” Seung-gil had known this was going to happen but he still wasn’t ready. “Off the train?”

“Yah, it’s the only way. This doesn’t stop until the coast and were need to go north now.”

Phichit wouldn’t look at him and it was the most infuriating thing about all this. Seung-gil could deal with Phichit saying he wanted to go on alone, to leave Seung-gil behind, but of course the other man was too kind for that so he was letting Seung-gil come along. So instead of just being told off, Seung-gil was left with the distinct feeling that Phichit hated his company but couldn’t say anything. 

Phichit, for his part, just had no clue what he was supposed to say especially since he didn’t think Seung-gil wanted to talk about what happened. 

“It’s coming up.” Phichit gestured for Seung-gil to get closer to the opening and he obliged slowly, his stomach dropping at the sight on the ground whipping past them. “I’ll tell you when you jump. Make sure you tuck your head in and try to land on your butt if you can. If we had more time I’d teach you how to land, but for now I’m just going to hope we’re moving slow enough.”

Seung-gil wondered if maybe this was how Phichit was going to get rid of him, but pushing him out of a moving train.

But as they approached the curve Seung-gil could feel them slowing down.

“Wait.” Seung-gil wanted to jump but Phichit had a hand on his arm, keeping him in place. “Wait.”

Seung-gil felt his stomach bottom out before Phichit’s hand even released his arm.

“Now.”

He didn’t even remember jumping.

\---

Seung-gil was still shaking when they got to the next town, the memory of almost breaking his neck when he landed had been too much for him to handle. Phichit’s landing had been much smoother, he’d obviously done this before. 

Seung-gil wouldn’t say he was afraid of much – well he wouldn’t say he was afraid of anything but that was more for posterity’s sake – but he definitely was afraid of jumping out of a moving train. And who wouldn’t be? It was not really advisable or fun.

Phichit didn’t seem to agree. He’d looked almost more upbeat after jumping out of the train, like doing that dangerous stunt had someone reinvigorated him.

“Can we please never do that again?” Seung-gil asked when they sat down in a dinky restaurant. It was cheap but they still only had enough money for one meal to share between them. 

“I can’t promise that.” Phichit laughed while they waited for their meal, last night’s events seemingly forgotten. Of course, neither of them could stop thinking about them but they both refused to acknowledge what happened. 

They were well adjusted people. 

“Oh, good, food!” Phichit exclaimed when their meal arrived. 

It was meager. Just a piece of bread, some unappetizing vegetables of unclear origin, and what looked to be chicken but which neither men could really be sure was chicken. Still, neither had eaten in a while and it tasted pretty good even though it had almost no flavor. 

“We should see if anyone is heading in our direction.” Phichit said when they paid and left. Seung-gil felt very much like a dog, following on Phichit’s heels wherever he went. “If we start walking then we can try to flag down some cars while still getting miles in. I can’t really tell how far we’re going to have to go but I think we want to get started.”

“Okay.” Seung-gil didn’t know what Phichit thought he was going to say. Disagree? He didn’t know the first thing about finding people, unless those people were Phichit but even then that was more of an accident than anything else half the time. 

“I’m sure we’ll find someone heading in our direction.” Seung-gil couldn’t say how Phichit remained so optimistic, but he wished he had some of whatever energy kept the shorter man going. 

“Whatever you say.”

\---

They didn’t find anyone. 

One car passed them on the road going the same direct as them but they didn’t even slow down when Phichit tried to wave them down. Seung-gil thought they might have sped up. 

So, after hours of walking and night setting in quickly, Phichit pointed out a lone farm house a bit off the road.

“We can sneak into the barn and sleep there. I’ve done it before.” Phichit smiled, his mouth barely visible as the moon had yet to rise. “It’s really not that bad.”

“Whatever you say,” Seung-gil repeated with a very slight smile. He’d slept in more uncomfortable places than this so he wasn’t going to complain.

\---

By the time the reached the barn – it had been farther from the road that it seemed – night had fully arrived and the moon had begun its slow climb up the night sky. 

“Home sweet home.” Phichit declared when they successfully snuck inside after confirming that the house was dark save for one upstairs light. It seemed whoever lived here really stuck to the idea of sleeping and waking with the sun. “Hay might be itchy but at least it’s kind of soft.” 

Phichit fell into the hay with a huff, feeling dead after a day of walking after a night of very little sleep. Seung-gil followed his example, feeling very much the same, but was careful to lay as far from Phichit as he could without arousing suspicion. 

That didn’t really work.

“You don’t have to stay so far away.” Phichit said. “I like your company.”

“But last night–”

“Don’t worry about last night.” Seung-gil felt let down even though he though he’d already come to terms with the fact that Phichit didn’t like him. “We can forget it if you want.”

“Okay…” He didn’t want to but if Phichit suggested forgetting, he didn’t mind. 

Phichit scooted closer to Seung-gil, still outside his personal space but close enough for Seung-gil to feel a little uncomfortable. It felt wrong to sleep so close to Phichit now that he was horribly aware of how deep his crush went.

After a long moment of silence, Phichit spoke quietly. “Hey, Seung-gil?”

“What is it Phichit?”

“I’m sure you don’t want to hear me question life anymore but I just…”

“Just ask.” Seung-gil said with a sigh, “It’s just to get how you're feeling off your chest, right?”

“Yah.”

“Then just say it.”

“Well, it’s just, how did you do it? How did you keep going on when you were alone?”

“I guess I just wanted to keep living.” Seung-gil didn’t know how to explain that he’d gotten used to the dumbness of loneliness in an ever-changing world.

“But, like, how?” Seung-gil didn’t respond because he didn’t have a response. “What’s the point? I mean, sometimes I don’t know. How can I be anyone if I never stay in one place for long?”

“You just… keep living.” Seung-gil shrugged even though the barn was too dark for Phichit to see that. The little light that came in from the moon was barely enough to see each other’s vague forms. 

“Did you have someone to live for?”

“I guess…” Seung-gil’s main purpose in life for a long time now had been finding Phichit in every iteration. He just didn’t know how to say that without sounding creepy. 

“Is that really the key? A someone?”

“Not for everyone.” Seung-gil honestly thought there were people who could do it alone. He was also pretty sure that Phichit wasn’t one of those people.

“We have another guy in our group, his name is JJ.” Seung-gil hadn’t been expecting a story. “He could be a little annoying but he tried to be a nice guy, just didn’t know how most of the time… He was dating this girl he was really sweet on when he was… normal, before he was a slider, but then… Well, you know.” The way Phichit said that implied information that Seung-gil _didn’t_ know. “After his first big series of slides, he tried to find her and didn’t for a long time. But he held out hope. We tried to tell him not to look, that looking for family and lovers and friends was a bad idea but he wouldn’t listen. She was the only thing keeping him grounded and sane, even without being next to him. She was the thing keeping him together.” There was a long pause and Seung-gil could already guess where this story was going. “He found her eventually, but there’d been too many slides. She didn’t even recognize him. She was married to this other guy and they had a kid together. I’m surprised JJ didn’t– I’m surprised he’s still around but he was sort of broken by that. He was never really the same.”

“What was the point of that story?” Seung-gil asked, wondering what would have happened if Phichit hadn’t been a shifter. 

“The point is… what’s the point, is my point. Everything changes around us but we can’t do anything to stop it. Even if you find someone to care about, someone who makes everything worthwhile, they’ll eventually die or leave or whatever and then what do you have?”

“Phichit…”

“Never mind.” Phichit said suddenly, his voice perking up. In the darkness he didn’t even try to smile, knowing he was invisible. “Actually, let’s forget I even brought it up.”

“Phichit, we can–”

“Good night Seung-gil.”

Seung-gil sighed, not sure what else to say. There wasn’t anything else to say but he still wished.

“Good night Phichit.”


	6. I'll Cover You

If being woken by a shift was the worst way to be woken up, this was a close second. Seung-gil hated shouting to begin with, and hated it being used to wake him up, but he definitely hated opening his eyes to find a gun pointed at him.

“Who the fuck are you two?”

“Ma’am, please calm down.” Phichit had his hands up and seemed to be much more awake that Seung-gil. And he seemed to be the calmest person in the room. “We were just sleeping here for the night, we meant you no harm.”

The woman looked at them for a long time and Seung-gil honestly thought she was going to kill them but then, instead, she lowered the gun with a long sigh. 

“Fine, you two don’t seem like a threat.” She looked tired, “Some bad types have been through lately but you two seem harmless.” She cocked her head to the side, “And like you haven’t slept in a bed or had a proper meal in days. Come inside and have some breakfast.”

Seung-gil wasn’t sure that was a great idea but it didn’t seem like a request. He glanced at Phichit who shrugged.

“Okay, ma’am.”

“Please call me Mina.” The woman smiled at them and Phichit smiled back.

“Okay then, Mina, we’d love some breakfast.” 

Seung-gil was struck with a memory of his family and of his younger sister, whose face he would have forgotten decades and countless iterations ago if he didn’t still carry a picture of him with her and their dad. It had been taken after Seung-gil’s dad had finally left Seung-gil’s mother, letting Seung-gil finally find some happiness. Then he’s world was thrown back into confusion by his shifting. 

“Seung-gil?” Phichit had a hand out to help Seung-gil up, the shorter man’s closeness startling because Seung-gil hadn’t noticed him approach. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.” He grabbed Phichit’s hand, pulling himself up. 

“Then let’s eat.” The smile Phichit gave him almost melted Seung-gil’s resolve, making him want to shout that he didn’t want to forget what happened the night on the train. But he wasn’t stupid, he heard Phichit say they should forget so Seung-gil would respect Phichit decision. 

He just wished it didn’t hurt so much.

\---

“This is amazing Mina!” Phichit said between mouthfuls of egg, “I haven’t had a home cooked meal in… well, in a long time.” 

“It’s really nothing special.” The older woman insisted, “You just think it’s good because you haven’t been eating much.”

“That’s true.” Phichit agreed, “We had enough money to buy a meal yesterday for us to share but other than that, we haven’t eaten in a little bit. Right, Seung-gil?” 

Seung-gil nodded and the woman looked unhappy.

“The economy is just terrible, isn’t it? It just keeps getting worse, especially in the cities. I’m lucky because with this farm I at least have something to eat everyday even if it’s mostly eggs and tomatoes.” 

“Have you heard any news from the government?” Phichit asked carefully, with a practiced vagueness that most shifters probably had. Seung-gil had done his fair share of information gathering if he went through a large shift. “We’ve been traveling for a while now.”

“Nothing, like usual.” She shook her head. “They’ve got nothing to say about all this. They just keep making excuses and ignoring the reality of how people are living, you know?”

“Sounds like the usual.” Phichit smiled sourly, “We’re heading to the next city over to try and find work.”

“Des Moines?” Phichit looked a little surprised to hear a name that both he and Seung-gil recognized. “I didn’t know there was work there.”

“I don’t know if there is,” Phichit was sure to keep surprise out of his voice even though he had trouble keeping it off his face. “But we couldn’t find anything anywhere else so we’ll try anywhere. The entire northeast has nothing.”

“Were you in New York?”

“We were there for a little, but we’re from farther north. Lost our jobs and had to try and find something else.”

“Oh, so were you laid off when New Vermont declared bankruptcy?” 

“Yah, we didn’t even see it coming.” Seung-gil was silent as Phichit made easy conversation about topics he knew nothing about. 

“Nobody did. That really destroyed the notion things were getting better.”

“I’ll say.” Phichit agreed and the table fell into silence while everyone finished their meal. 

“So,” Mina piped up again as Phichit stood to try and clear the table only to be overtaken by the older woman. “I was planning a trip to Indianola later this week but I could move up the trip and take you with me. So you don’t have to walk there. It’s an hour by car so I can’t imagine what that would be like to walk. From there you should be able to find someone heading to Des Moines.” She smiled. “Even if you can’t, it’s not terribly far from Des Moines.” 

“We don’t want to impose.” Phichit insisted.

“Oh, you wouldn’t be imposing.” She smiled, shooing Phichit and Seung-gil away when they tried to help clean up. “It’s a lonely drive so it’ll be nice to have company.” 

“Only if you’re sure.” Phichit looked and Seung-gil and smiled. “But that would be a big help.”

“Then it’s settled, We’ll leave in a few hours.”

\---

“Your friend doesn’t talk much, does he?” Mina asked Phichit while the drove. The truck only had two seats so Seung-gil had offered to sit outside in the truck bed. Phichit was pretty sure Seung-gil was terrified of doing that but he insisted he should sit out there. Phichit suspected as terrified as Seung-gil seemed to be of being close to the ground in a moving vehicle, he was more afraid to be forced to drive for an hour with a stranger. He wasn’t really one for small talk. 

“He’s… reserved.” Phichit agreed, “He spent a long time alone so he’s not really good at… people.”

“You like him though, doesn’t you?”

“Huh?” Phichit looked at the woman but she just smiled.

“It’s pretty obvious.” She chuckled, “I saw how you looked at him when he wasn’t paying attention.”

“It doesn’t really matter, I screwed it up anyway.”

“How?”

“Ah, well.” Phichit felt himself blush, “He kind of kissed me once and I didn't say anything then I told him we should just forget about it.”

“Why’d you do that.” Her eyes pulled away from the road to raise an eyebrow at Phichit.

“I was scared?” Phichit sighed, “I’ve seen what losing someone does to a person and I didn’t want to take that risk, I guess?”

“Fuck that.” Phichit blinked at the older woman, who was now giving Phichit a look out of the corner of her eye. “This world has too many variables to live your life like that.”

“I don’t know… It just seems easy to be alone. We’ve both done just that for a long time.”

“And what if I hadn’t stood down earlier and killed your friend?” Phichit looked horrified. “What? You were both trespassing, I had every right to kill you. I didn’t but I could have shot him before you did a thing. Would you have regretted more having told him how you feel and losing him or not having told him and losing him?” Phichit didn’t respond and Mina sighed, “I made safe choices when I was younger and I regret them more than the risks I took. That’s all I’m trying to tell you. Just don’t let this pass you by simply because you were scared.”

Phichit didn’t have a response, just watched Seung-gil sitting in the exact middle of the truck bed, against the back of the truck cabin. He couldn’t see his face but Seung-gil shoulders were tensed and Phichit guessed he had his eyes squeezed shut like he had when he jumped out of the train. 

“I’ll… I’ll think about it.”

\---

“Thank you so much.” Phichit said as she dropped them in the middle of town. “This was a huge help.”

“It’s nothing, now take this.” She tried to hand Phichit money as Seung-gil came around to stand next to him.

“We can’t!” It looked like a lot of money but amounts were hard to really tell given the inflation in this iteration. “You’ve already done so much for us.” 

“It’s really not much.” She pretty much threw the cash at Phichit, “You two are just kids. Take my money, please, I don’t need it.” She was practically pleading with them, “I can tell you haven’t slept in a bed in a few days so please, just get yourself a room before you head on.”

Seung-gil sighed and tapped Phichit on the shoulder, giving him a look that said to just accept the money. 

“Okay.” Phichit said, “Thank you.”

“Good luck to both of you.” She smiled, “And Phichit, remember what I said.”

Seung-gil looked at the other man to find him blushing, which was curious but he tried to brush it off without thinking too much more about it.

“Thank you, Mina.” Seung-gil couldn’t help but bow his head a little. “You helped us out a lot.”

“You’re both just kids,” She repeated. “This isn’t the world you two should have to live in so… I hope things go well.”

After another round of thanks and then goodbyes, Phichit and Seung-gil walked off to find a cheap motel where they’d have a little money left over for a meal tomorrow. 

Phichit chuckled, “I almost wish we could tell her we won’t have to live here for long.” 

“Yah…” Seung-gil knew she didn’t look at all like his sister but something about her personality reminded him of her. That was probably just his mind playing trick on his thanks to her name, though. “She was a good person.”

“She really was.”

\---

Sleeping in a bed was heavenly. Seung-gil prayed to every god there was, and maybe if all universes existed then at least some of them had gods, that he wouldn’t be woken in the middle of the night by a shift. Or by someone pointing a gun at his face. That one seemed unlikely, though.

Both men were tired from the walked the day before so they fell asleep quickly, Phichit not even starting on his questions about what their lives meant which Seung-gil was glad for. 

Seung-gil was having a dream he would barely remember later. He was sitting at his kitchen table with Mi-na and Dad. They were talking, though he couldn’t hear about what, and they were all smiling. Seung-gil was even smiling, laughter in his chest and a happy, light feeling in his entire body. 

Then a scream split his dream and there was a moment he thought it was his dream. Then he was afraid it was _him_.

“Wha–?” He looked around the dark room, finally realizing the barely understandable shouting was coming from the bed next to his.

Phichit.


	7. I Should Tell You

“Phichit!” Seung-gil called, not wanting to touch the other man as he stood over Phichit’s bed. “Phichit, wake up!”

Finally, he couldn’t take the wordless shouts or the look of panic on Phichit’s face and he reached out for the man. He barely touched the man and he was awake, terror was obvious in the wet eyes looking at Seung-gil in the low light of their room. Seung-gil hadn’t turned a light on but the moon had only just risen and was shining brightly through their uncovered window and shining off Phichit’s tear filled eyes.

“Phichit?” 

“Fuck.” Phichit looked down at his lap, folding his hands while he tried not to fidget too much. “I didn’t want you to– I thought I could–”

He seemed to give up on words, falling silent and refusing to meet Seung-gil’s gaze.

“Can I– Should I–” Mi-na used to get nightmares, they’d wake Seung-gil up almost every night the months after they finally left their Mother. He tried to remember what Dad would do for her. “Can I sit down?”

Phichit nodded and Seung-gil sat on the bed next to Phichit, who looked a little embarrassed but also still afraid.

“Want to talk about it?” Seung-gil asked after a long silence.

“Not really,” Phichit told him.

“You don’t have to.”

“I should, though.” Phichit sighed, “It’s just embarrassing that after all this time I can’t get over it all. It’s the real reason Yuuri and I left Minako’s group. I needed to get as far from my first home as possible because I thought that would make everything easier to forget.”

“What are you talking about?” Seung-gil had a feeling they were getting close to the something that had been unspoken until then because Phichit thought Seung-gil understood while Seung-gil was just too afraid to ask. 

“It’s really very average. I don’t know how they pick people but we, Yuuri and I, guessed that there must be some compatibility test. Some trait that makes all of us good candidates.” Seung-gil remained silent because he was already completely lost. “A lot of governments across so many universes have done this research and some of them have been successful. My home, Thailand, had been one of many to try this. I was taken from my home when I was sixteen. They told my parents I was gifted. They said I’d have the best education and more opportunities than my parents could offer their youngest of five.” Phichit sighed, “My parents weren’t poor but they only had so much money and the government convinced them that I’d get the equivalent of the best private education and I’d have the chance to go to a prestigious college. I’d be on the fast track to important work.

“But it was a lie, all of it. I and some others were simply lab rats. They did so much to all of us, trying to find the secrets to time travel and to immortality. I don’t know if they figured those out but with me they figured out how to travel through dimensions and universes like so many other governments had over so many other universes.” Phichit took a long, shuddering breath. “After my first slide, a big one like the other day, I found myself still in the same horrible lab. We think the initial slides distort the universe around the slider because everyone else had the same experience of seeming to be in the same places as before the slide.”

Phichit paused for a long time, giving Seung-gil a moment to try and sort through the information he’d been given. 

An experiment? Labs? The government? How had he never heard any of this before? How many other people were like this?

“You probably remember how painful your first slide was.” Seung-gil shook his head and Phichit shrugged, “Maybe that’s not a universal truth but it’s painful for most people. I was in such a daze I barely noticed when Minako and Yuuri came and saved me. At the time it was only the two of them in that region so I was the third and their first that wasn’t from Japan. Did you have Japan in your universe?” Seung-gil nodded, “I wonder if our universes were very similar.”

Seung-gil wondered what the probability was that they could be from the same universe or even a universe of the same ‘color.’

“Yuuri helped me a lot. Those first few years were hard. I’d been in that lab for four years and I’d forgotten how to be normal and… well… I wasn’t normal anymore but I didn’t know how to be a person. Yuuri really helped me pull through it all. I think… I think we could have been something more if I hadn’t still been afraid of people, too afraid of connections I could lose.” Phichit didn’t mention how scared of that he still was. “I helped them get Otabek, Minami, and Guang Hong out of various labs. Otabek was in Russia so we’d overstepped our bounds a little but it was near our side in east Russia. In that universe, Russia was even bigger than it was in mine old universe so it really wasn’t Lilia and Yakov’s territory. At that point we didn’t even know if there were other people doing the same thing as us.”

Phichit laughed suddenly, tears starting to stream from his eyes.

“Phichit?” Seung-gil almost touched him, but didn’t because he didn’t want to startle the other man.

“Sorry, it’s just been a long time since I talked about this.” He took a breath. “Guang Hong was in China, it wasn’t called that in his universe but it’s hard for me to think of places as anything other than what they were in my universe. Just tell me if you don’t know where I’m talking about.” Seung-gil nodded but he was pretty sure he knew where Phichit meant, unless the name was the same and the place different. “Minami was back in Japan. He’s got so much energy now, it’s crazy, but I know he uses that to hide the fact that he’d been hurt so bad.” Phichit closed his eyes. “Him and Guang Hong were both so young. I know they weren’t much younger than me but they just seemed so young.”

Phichit stopped in his story, seeming to realize he’d been talking for a long time.

“If you didn’t have people, who’d you get out?” He asked, “If you’re from South Korea then we should have gotten you.”

“I don’t think I understand.” Seung-gil told him honestly, “I was never in a lab.”

After a long silence Phichit finally asked a simple, “What?”

“I wasn’t in a lab. I was walking home one day and suddenly everything around me seemed to tilt and then shift to the side. I got really disoriented and fell over. People were worried and I was having trouble figuring out where I was and what was going on. After the shifts stopped I was in a hospital but when they looked up my name in the computer they couldn’t find me. I didn’t understand but I just ran. It took me a lot of iterations and a lot of years to really figure out what was going on but eventually I concluded that I must be moving from universe to universe.”

“So you were never experimented on?” Phichit looked at him in disbelief, his face wet but his tears had stopped. 

“No, it just happened.”

“Oh shit.” Phichit’s shock turned to a small, uncertain smile. “You’re a natural slider.” 

“A what?”

“We always theorized that it could be possible.” Phichit was getting excited now. “Based on the math, Yuuri and Viktor are sort of physics and math geniuses so they did a lot of this work, we thought that the shock of creating a slider would create a natural slider in the universe parallel to the unnatural slider’s universe. This, of course, was reliant on the possibility of there being exact parallels to universes. Like identical universes but that existed separately. We could never confirm it, though, because it hard to find natural sliders. Also we thought there was a chance that it was impossible slide between parallel universes, at least in the way that we slide.” 

“So for every person like you, there’s someone like me?” Phichit nodded and Seung-gil felt a little sad. If he was the first one to be found among Phichit’s network then that meant there were probably a lot of people who had spent a long time alone. He wondered how many of them were still alive. 

Suddenly Phichit looked upset, “So that’s why you were alone? Because nobody knew about you?” Seung-gil nodded, “Wow… I’m sorry, that sounds terrible.” 

Seung-gil shrugged and started to get up off Phichit’s bed, feeling like their conversation was probably over now. Phichit would be fine now, Seung-gil was sure, and he didn’t need Seung-gil in his space. They both should try to get some sleep either way, not that Seung-gil thought he could sleep given the confusing new information floating around his head. 

Just as he was lifting himself of the bed, Phichit grabbed his sleeve, looking down at the covers he was still grasping tightly in his free hand. 

“Could you stay? I don’t want to– I don’t like–” Seung-gil didn’t need him to finish and didn’t say anything, instead pulling back the covers to slide in next to the other man.

That night, they both slept better than they had in years.


	8. Your Eyes

The next morning the woke up with their limbs tangled together and even though they still didn’t talk about it, there was less awkwardness between them than there had been before. 

Seung-gil knew they’d need to figure things out but they were so close to their destination that Phichit seemed to think that it would be easier to just continue without much conversation for at least that long. Seung-gil was fine with that. 

Even after sleeping in a real bed, Phichit fell asleep on Seung-gil shoulder about two minutes into the ride they’d been able to get to Des Moines. Phichit wasn’t completely sure this was where they were going but it seemed to be in the right direction, so they went with it. Once they got to the city, they could figure out whether they needed to try a different direction. 

About halfway to the city, their driver stopped and both men helped him load and unload boxes like they’d agreed to do in order to procure a ride. Apparently, the man had bad knees but needed to money from his job to support his family so he gave people rides in exchange for them doing his work for him. It seemed a little strange to Seung-gil, why not just charge for the ride? He suspected it was easier to convince people to exchange services for services like this. Maybe the job paid more than being a glorified taxi would. 

By the time they finished the work, it was already evening and when they got to Des Moines the sun was nearly setting.

“Thank you.” The man called to them as they said their own thanks. “Good luck finding a job.”

“Bye.” Phichit waved as the man drove back the way he came, probably headed home for the night. “So, what now?”

Seung-gil shrugged, aware how close they were standing. “What does your radar say?”

“They’re close but I don’t know where.” Phichit showed it to Seung-gil. “I’m pretty sure they’re in the city though.”

“Why don’t we just find a place to stay for the night.” Seung-gil offered, “Then look for them starting tomorrow.”

“Sounds good to me.” Phichit smiled and Seung-gil was happy to bask in the warmth of the look for a while. After last night’s stories, Phichit seemed more at ease with Seung-gil and while the taller man was happy for it, he wasn’t really sure why. “Let’s go.”

\---

They settled on the single, uncomfortable bed, both facing in opposite directions. This had been the only motel cheap enough for them to afford and the only room open was one with a single bed. It wasn’t that weird, they’d shared a bed the night before, but the shared sleeping space really brought home the fact that they should probably talk about what was going on with them.

“So…” Seung-gil tried to start, but immediately found he had nothing to say. “What do we– What are we–”

“I have something to tell you.” Phichit burst out, turning to look at Seung-gil as his cheeks burned. He’d been holding this secret for too long and he was starting to feel bad for it. 

“What is it?”

“I’ve sort of been following you.” Phichit admitted, slapping his palms together and bowing his head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were a slider. I thought you were a reincarnation or something. After I saw you for a second time I became obsessed with finding you and would look for you throughout the different universes.”

There was silence for a long time while Seung-gil found himself unable to speak.

Phichit was blushing even deeper now, “I understand if you think it’s creepy and want to leave once we get where we’re going.” 

But Seung-gil only chuckled, making Phichit look up and blink confusedly. 

“It’s the same with me.” 

“What?” 

Seung-gil smiled and Phichit couldn’t help but smile back. He hadn’t seen the other man smile since they’d met for real and it was really beautiful. Of course, he’d seen him smile once or twice in the past but that didn’t really seem to count. Also there was something infinitely creepy about having watched someone smile while petting dogs a few times even though the two of you had never spoken. 

“I was doing the same thing.” 

“Really? But why?” 

“I guess,” Seung-gil looks thoughtful, “I just wanted something tangible.” 

And at that Phichit smiled and Seung-gil smiled back even wider than before and for the first time in a while Phichit thought things were looking up.

For the first time in a while, Phichit thought he was going to be okay and for the first time in a while Seung-gil thought that maybe he didn’t want to be alone anymore. 

Phichit suddenly jumped across the bed, pulling Seung-gil into a tight hug. 

“I like you.” He whispered in the other’s ear, “A lot.” 

“Me too.” Seung-gil responded, hesitating for a while before returning the hug a little awkwardly. 

“I was afraid to have someone because I was afraid to lose someone. That’s why I didn’t know what to do the other day.”

“Me too.” Seung-gil breathed because after losing Mi Na and Dad he had been afraid of that happening again. 

“I’m glad we’re both sliders… otherwise we never would have met.” 

That admittance seemed like the most personal of all. It seemed like the one that meant the most and for a moment Seung-gil was silence. Finally, he relaxed into the hug and murmured into Phichit’s ear. 

“Me too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Lovely art was made for this by my YOI shit bang partner over [here](https://cactasi.tumblr.com/post/164820487675/my-contribution-to-the-amazing-story-written-by). It more or less corresponds to chapter 7 so if you don't want to know anything beforehand, look at that art only after finsihing ch7. If you don't care, then go look at it because it's so lovely and amazing.


End file.
